Struggles as a 92% Extrovert

Hong Kong, 19 Sep 2020 As an extrovert, I do enjoy socials, parties, and being involved in communities because that’s where my energy recharged. For me, staying at home for the whole day is a torture. Most of the time, I need to go out or have other people’s presence. My communication skill is not outstanding but I get excited talking to people or meet new friends. And when I take personality test, my extroversion level could go up to 90%.

To certain extent, being gregarious helps me to have friends from different social groups, adjust in new places easily, and bring people together. As fun as it sounds, there are times I hated it too because..

..I can’t sleep

After a whole night of socials, my body might be tired but my energy is recharged after interacting with people. Unless I’m extremely tired, it usually takes me another hour to calm my excitement down before I can properly sleep. And, that’s pretty annoying when I know my body need to rest

..I spend too much money in restaurants or coffee shops

No, not because I’m a foodie, simply because I couldn’t say no to lunch or dinner catch ups. There could be weekends spent only for hang outs with friends from different social groups which obviously make me emotionally happy, but financially bleeding. 

..Staying at home makes me restless

If I have free time, I rather spend it in a coffee shop doing my own stuffs than watching netflix at home. There are times that I just find excuses to go out just because I don’t like being at home. There are times I envy those people who find happiness by learning new things or simply reading books at home. 

..I tend to talk too much

because I love to share my stories and enjoy being the spotlight. The good thing about this is  my energy could help to break the ice, but it sometimes it makes other people hesitant to talk. Homework for myself is to be a better listener.

..I’m mentally suffering during pandemic

Working from home, unable to dine out, travel ban, and all social distancing things drive my crazy. It was probably more difficult for me to stay at home 24/7 than someone’s who’s naturally introvert. Thankfully, Hong Kong never experience full lock down, hence I still can go out during weekends or having some friends coming over to my house.

..My life is an open book

I like to share my stories but sometimes oversharing, especially in social media. I have to be ready receiving unfavourable comments because people only see what’s uploaded. There are times I tried to be more mysterious because it’s is kinda cool but obviously I always failed.. Indeed, I should be more mindful with personal things I share to people in real life or social media.

..My face is also an open book

Being expressive is a good thing when I am happy so I can radiate my happiness to everyone around me. It’s not good when I’m sad, disappointed, or angry as people can easily tell that I’m having problems. It’s even worse in the office where my colleagues can tell that I’m not happy after my boss giving me a negative feedback.

Life is indeed judged by its cover. I appreciate people’s compliments to me for being an easy going person and able to light up the team’s mood. Little did people know that we – extroverts – have our own struggles that you may never think of.

“I desperately need people. I recharge by sitting near those I love, laughting at their antics, and sharing stories. Being only with myself is exhausting”

Unknown

Struggling Social Butterfly,

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